She's so swishy in her satin and tat


I have been immortalised in song! I am a Scrude muse!
*dies laughing*

A little backstory, my epic colleague Pete and his best friend Dodds are the brains behind Scrude, a band which writes brilliant, surreal songs of comic genius. Recently there was some Twitter discussion about the crumb-trap which is my bra, and the jam-trap which is my hair. The hair on my head that is, though as you can imagine this needed clarifying...

Anywhere here it is - the immortal genius of Mease's Minge. Listen to the song.

Hairy!
It was a hairy beaver (a beaver)
'Twas like a Scouser's perm
It looked quite like an afro (an afro)
A little like a beard (ah ah ahh)
But the news that we heard
Made our guts do a twinge
There's no hair upon
Mease's minge

Shaven!
Her quim is white and hairless (it's hairless)
It looks just like a bum
A weeping Duncan Goodhew (a Goodhew)
Or like a Muppet's mouth (ah ah ahh)
Since the Gillette was bought
There's no pubic fringe
There's an eerie look to
Mease's minge

Useful!
Maybe it comes in handy (so handy)
When she's baking a cake
Perhaps it holds a spatula (a spatula)
Works as an oven glove (ah ah ahh)
It's not only wipe clean
But there's no hair to singe
It's practical, it's
Mease's minge

It's so bald now, it's so bald now
Yes it's bald now, it's so bald now
Quim so shiny, it's so shiny
She's no pubes now, there's no pubes now
It's so bald now, it's so bald now
Yes it's bald now, it's so bald now
Quim so shiny, it's so shiny
She's no pubes now, there's no pubes now

Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr.

Title: Queen Bitch by David Bowie

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