Heaven is smiling down

It's 4 days until The Boy and I get married. I'm not nervous about committing to him for the rest of my life, I love him and he makes me happy and as far as I'm concerned we were made for each other. I have faith in myself, in him and in our life together.

I'm still nervous about the wedding though. I made the decision recently to be positive about it, to not get so furious at the world for trying to fit me into the bride mould, for stereotyping me, for not hearing me. I was so frustrated with people treating me so differently, despite telling them as bluntly as I could that nothing had changed and I wasn't suddenly losing all my ideals or changing my perspectives.

I realised how futile it was and that all I was doing was making myself miserable. It will take more than one person to change the patriarchal views of thousands of years and clearly I am not that person. I shall peer over the top of an Erica Jong book and roll my eyes at the world instead.

I do not want people to make speeches or toasts at the wedding, I'd rather the room be filled with laughter and dancing and everyone I care about having a great time and let it just all flow organically with no structure.

Having said that, I wrote a speech for Darren to say how much I love him. Sometimes things don't need to be said, but in typical me fashion, I have written it anyway. I'm a lover and a writer.

*****just to be clear. I am not making this speech at the wedding. I don't want any speeches, that's why I'm writing this*****

"I agreed to marry Darren because it's what he wanted, and by now I think I've proved to him that I will do anything within my power to make him happy. Everyone says this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my big special day... well every day with Darren is special and I've been happier than I ever thought I could be since the day I met him. I don't need anything more than that so a wedding was surplus to requirements as far as I was concerned - but in typical Darren fashion he's going above and beyond. Going that extra distance! Those of you who know Darren will understand this about him and why being married to him makes me the luckiest girl in the world. Not because I'm married, not because I'm in "the stress dress" but because I have everything in the world that I could ever need. Him."

Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr.

Title: The Wedding Song by David Bowie

2 comments:

Nadia said...

:) Why not have an open mic after you've done your speech? I know you say you don't want speeches but if you're making one maybe others (your Dad or Darren for example) might want to say something too? *hugs*

Lianne Marie Binks said...

No!!! I'm not making a speech!!! I just wrote it here. If anyone dares to attempt it I will stab them in the face with my shoe.