Got to get a rain check on pain

I am amassing a nice little pile of begging letters to our Facilities department to order me a new chair. For the last month I have been sat on something that is less comfortable than a bicycle without a seat and now my back is in constant pain.

Which is nice and could have been avoided if they had ORDERED ME A NEW CHAIR.
Which they still haven't done. Yayyy... hurray for working whilst high on painkillers though. Ooooooh. Muscle relaxant anti-inflammatory goodness. Mmmmmm.
Speaking of backs and bicycles - yesterday I was walking to work, enjoying the peaceful quiet of the streets of Cross Green and humming along to Pink Floyd when I was almost run over by a cyclist.
The dickless piece of shit was cycling on the pavement, sans helmet and had no bell to signal his approach so given that he was coming at me from behind and I was wearing GINORMOUS Skull Candy Headphones I don't know how he expected me to get out of the way.
I also don't know why, given that he was going against the highway code and cycling on the pavement instead of the road - and might I add on the right hand side of the street instead of the left - and nearly ran me over that he had the cheek, the CHEEK to then say "get out of the way you fucking hunchback" to me.
You see I have this slight curvature to the top of my spine. It's called a Dowager's Hump and it's super super sexy. Mine is not too severe and is easily disguised by wearing my hair down and avoiding letting people take pictures of me from the side. It does cause backaches and headaches if I don't watch my posture and given the history of osteoperosis in my family I am resigned to the fact that I am likely going to be shaped like a question mark later in life with a wicked big Quasimodo hump on the back of my neck and vertebrae crumbling like wet cake.
I had my hair tied up in my "I'm just going to get in the shower and not wash my hair" topknot which meant that my neck was exposed and that's how he saw my tiny hump.
It's the first time that anyone has ever noticed it and I discovered yesterday after writing about it on my OD that lots of people that I know have them and that the cyclist was a prick.
I did what any woman called a hunchback by a cyclist would do. I chased after him, grabbed the back of his saddle and told him to obey the highway code. He did not apologise for calling me a hunchback but I am sure that given the laws of karma someone will be scraping him from a nasty nipple-burning skid along the pavement any minute now.

Actually no one used the word prick... but they did amuse me very much with other profanities. 

And as a result of my hurty back I am going to a chiropractor on Saturday. That is if my chair hasn't crippled me over the next 2 days and rendered me immobile. COME ON FACILITIES PULL YOUR FINGER OUT!

Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr.

Title: Fame by David Bowie