When the smoke had blown away

As I may have mentioned once or twice *rolls eyes* I have been working my not inconsiderable arse off to get our house redecorated before The Australians move in on 7th April.

I've done well - what will be their bedroom has been completely stripped, insulated, plastered, painted with new carpets and nice furniture. The same goes for the living room which now has shelving units and a lovely sofa which I got for the bargainous price of £112 when the seller paid £2,500 for it originally.

There is only one problem with the sofa which looks exactly as I wanted it to and goes wonderfully in our new living room...

... it stinks. And I mean REALLY stinks. No it's not the leather smell, the seller on ebay inconsiderately failed to mention that her partner smoked so the sofa was installed in my freshly painted living room with 1-day old brand new carpet and it FUCKING STINKS.

The smell of stale smoke is completely impregnated in the sofa and worse - it's not just in the living room. THE ENTIRE HOUSE NOW STINKS.

I wake up in the morning and I smell stale smoke. I walk past the living room and gag. I am completely repulsed and it's so unfair.

When the sofa arrived I took some Lavender flash with febreeze to it. No impact.
I took some febreeze to it. No impact.

I washed it thoroughly with hot water and washing up liquid. No impact.
I washed it with hot water and a paste made of washing powder and fabric softner. No impact.
I've left a sliced apple in the room to "absorb" the smell, and a potato.
I have burned Yankee candles day and night. No impact.

NOTHING works. The smell isn't even fading. I don't want to have to get rid of this sofa - for one I don't have the time or money to replace it and two I don't give up that easily.

I was advised to try baking soda but didn't have any and don't have any money until payday. I've just borrowed a little to pick up some baking soda and any other remedies that I can find today.

Please please please share with me anything that works. I am not just being overly sensitive here, it genuinely stinks. It's some sick kind of irony that the most vehement anti-smoker in the world gets a sofa which stinks of smoke. Needless to say the seller on ebay didn't get the glowing feedback which I was intending to give her. It's a shame - aside from the stink the sofa is truly perfect.

So hit me with it - what can I do!?

Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr.

Title: Bombers by David Bowie


Leftwingchica said...

Bunch of ideas on this site http://removingsmoke.com/furniture.html

Etoile Filante said...

thank you very much - I've just checked out the site but unless I'm just being really thick she doesn't actually say how to use the Onions/Garlic/Baking Soda/Vinegar/Charcoal/ Coffee/cinnamon and cloves... do I somehow apply them to the sofa do you think?

Leftwingchica said...

From a different site...

Baking soda
Baking soda is a natural way to absorb smells from porous materials such as leather. Because baking soda is completely dry, you can even apply it to unfinished leathers, including suede and nubuck, which can become damaged by water-based cleaning solutions. To use baking soda, sprinkle it onto the leather couch and let it sit for several hours. Vacuum the baking soda off the leather couch after it has absorbed all of the smoke smell. Repeat the process if necessary.

A distilled white vinegar-based solution will not only clean your leather sofa, but it also will remove the smell of smoke. Mix 1 cup of vinegar with 2 cups of water. Use this solution on a soft cloth to clean the surface of finished leather sofas. Do not over soak the sofa. Once you have coated the entire sofa, rinse the area with clear water. Dry it completely to prevent watermarks from developing.

chintz said...

I am honestly standing by my put it outside thing. Probably best to do on a weekend when you're there to bring it in in case it rains, but if you can physically get it outside to air that's the only thing I ever find works, since my parents smoking in the house makes everything I own stink. It IS so unfair, I know exactly how you feel as I have to breathe it in every single day and spend a fortune on Febreezing my clothes! Hanging them out the window is the only thing that gets rid! x

Etoile Filante said...

I wish I had somewhere to put it but the outside of my house currently looks like this (http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/189617_10150168516060376_668335375_8492518_2735740_n.jpg) I will see how much they get done by this weekend and I will definitely give it a try! Thanks Luce!
And THANK YOU Leftwingchica - I will be trying both of those tonight in the meantime. THANK YOU!

Spalderdash said...

Have you thought about that sugar soap idea? (Is it called "sugar soap"? Am I thinking of something else? But you know what I mean. The stuff our darling Ashley suggested.)

I truly do stand by the bicarbonate of soda suggestion, if you can pick some up the next time you go shopping. This is gross, but my dear elderly dog pissed on my brother's mattress once and we used bicarbonate of soda to get the stench out (after soap and water, obviously) and it really did work.

I think Lucy's idea is a good one, too.

STUPID EBAY WOMAN! Good luck, sweetie. xxxxxxx

temmahkrik said...

Baking soda would have been my first suggestion followed by the vinegar. (But I use vinegar for EVERYTHING.) And lots and lots and lots of fresh air (open the windows). Smokers don't know how bad they stink up themselves and a room they smoke in, so I don't doubt for a second that it's not all in your head.


Etoile Filante said...

Thank you Katebot and Manda - I will definitely try the vinegar wash and then leave the baking soda on overnight - just off to go buy some baking soda. Must remember, not baking POWDER!

Nadia said...

I was going to suggest baking soda and vinegar too :)

Etoile Filante said...

Thanks Nadia xxxx

Leslie said...

When we got Jeff's chair repaired they did something to it, and it smelled like a sweaty old man sat in it and IT WOULD NOT. COME. OUT. I had some really strong lemon scented spray from bath and body works that i saturated that bitch in. Much better.

Vick said...

Shell out an orange and fill it with salt and leave it on the sofa. Not sure if anyone else has suggested that, but it works well. Do it with many oranges!

Etoile Filante said...

Orange and salt - got it! Actually I don't have any oranges, will grapefruit do???
I've applied vinegar and water 3 times and I think it did help, but the smell isn't completely gone. I've now dusted the sofa seats with baking powder and am going to leave it, and vac it off tomorrow.

Etoile Filante said...

I obviously mean baking SODA. Not powder. We're not making muffins here...