As I may have mentioned once or twice *rolls eyes* I have been working my not inconsiderable arse off to get our house redecorated before The Australians move in on 7th April.
I've done well - what will be their bedroom has been completely stripped, insulated, plastered, painted with new carpets and nice furniture. The same goes for the living room which now has shelving units and a lovely sofa which I got for the bargainous price of £112 when the seller paid £2,500 for it originally.
There is only one problem with the sofa which looks exactly as I wanted it to and goes wonderfully in our new living room...
... it stinks. And I mean REALLY stinks. No it's not the leather smell, the seller on ebay inconsiderately failed to mention that her partner smoked so the sofa was installed in my freshly painted living room with 1-day old brand new carpet and it FUCKING STINKS.
The smell of stale smoke is completely impregnated in the sofa and worse - it's not just in the living room. THE ENTIRE HOUSE NOW STINKS.
I wake up in the morning and I smell stale smoke. I walk past the living room and gag. I am completely repulsed and it's so unfair.
When the sofa arrived I took some Lavender flash with febreeze to it. No impact.
I took some febreeze to it. No impact.
I washed it thoroughly with hot water and washing up liquid. No impact.
I washed it with hot water and a paste made of washing powder and fabric softner. No impact.
I've left a sliced apple in the room to "absorb" the smell, and a potato.
I have burned Yankee candles day and night. No impact.
NOTHING works. The smell isn't even fading. I don't want to have to get rid of this sofa - for one I don't have the time or money to replace it and two I don't give up that easily.
I was advised to try baking soda but didn't have any and don't have any money until payday. I've just borrowed a little to pick up some baking soda and any other remedies that I can find today.
Please please please share with me anything that works. I am not just being overly sensitive here, it genuinely stinks. It's some sick kind of irony that the most vehement anti-smoker in the world gets a sofa which stinks of smoke. Needless to say the seller on ebay didn't get the glowing feedback which I was intending to give her. It's a shame - aside from the stink the sofa is truly perfect.
So hit me with it - what can I do!?
Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr.
Title: Bombers by David Bowie