Today it is National No Smoking day. All day. Someone very kindly made a day JUST FOR ME, for my pleasure. Here's an interesting fact; I am the most vehement anti-smoker on the planet, no seriously. You think I hate Britney Spears? Smoking I hate even more. (and she's a smoker - GO FIGURE)
Despite a number of lovely people in my aquaintance being smokers (and I do still love you, despite your FILTHY habit) I am of the general opinion that anyone who takes up smoking should be sectioned. I can understand why you may find it hard to quit once you have started - after all it is highly addictive - but WHY START IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Surely these people must have heard SOMETHING bad about smoking. You know how bad it is for your health... for other people's health... how expensive it is and quite frankly how disgusting it is. I imagine these people walking down the street - healthy, fragrant and youthful looking and then suddenly struck down by a burning desire to have black lungs, smelly hair, skin and breath, yellow nails and teeth, grey skin, no money and their productivity dependent on 10 or more breaks every day to ingest carcinogens and stimulants which will serve no purpose except to kill them. It must taste as bad as it smells. Who tries it and says "oooh this is DELICIOUS!" ?
(I appreciate I have never tried it, it might taste like chocolate covered chocolate for all I know)
And the risks to your health? heart attacks, strokes, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, emphysema, and cancer (upper aero-digestive tract (oral cavity, nasal cavity, nasal sinuses, pharynx, larynx and oesophagus), pancreas, stomach, liver, bladder, kidney, cervix, bowel, ovary and myeloid leukaemia) oh and Chrohn's disease. It's not just a little bit bad for you - it's really fucking bad for you.
I hate people smoking. I especially hate parents smoking. If you're lucky enough to have a child then why would you want to reduce your lifespan and theirs? Why would you want to waste money on cigarettes that could be spent on giving them a better life? ARE YOU CRAZY??????
Why don't you love your child? Why don't you respect that you're a parent? SOMEONE CALL SOCIAL SERVICES!
I have absolutely no rationality when it comes to smoking and I will not apologise for loathing it to the degree that I do. It's a stupid thing to start doing, it's a stupid thing to keep doing and I think you're a mental. And no you don't look cool doing it. You look like this.
When the smoking ban came in I was ecstatic about no longer coming home from a night out stinking of cigarettes and wheezing like a bastard. That's the thing about smokers - they don't all go off to an island somewhere and smoke together, considerately out of your way. They do it outside on the street whilst you're innocently walking behind them just thinking how nice you smell and what a lovely spring day it is and BOOM - the air around you smells of death and then it's sticking to every fibre of your nice wool coat and your hair.
And you cough and you die.
Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr.
Title: Without You by David Bowie