The laughing gnome

Good morning world,

Today is Wednesday (didn't you know?) and that means that it is one day until The Boy returns from deepest darkest Devon and we get to communicate in person instead of via text message.

The Boy: Awoit lav, oi be in Devon now x you enjoying London x
Our Hero: I am indeed my lovely xxx have you bummed any sheep yet? xxx
The Boy: Only two. I'm all flaccid and shrivelled now.
Our Hero: When in Rome... come to think of it isn't it Wales where they supposedly bum sheep? QUICK STOP BUMMING THEM! They'll think you're mad.

So tonight I am visiting friends for a cosy night in with pizza and movies, then going round to my mother's for a bath (A BATH! OH GLORY!!!) and to sleep there. Which means in the morning I'll wake up with her fat bastard of a cat up my arse and a confused feeling of being at mum's where I haven't lived since I was in my teens.

Then tomorrow I will be going home to tidy the house up in preparation for a weekend of AWESOME! 2 lady dudes and their dudes will be staying with us this weekend which will be interesting given that we're currently living on a construction site. I put fresh sheets on the beds last night and just hope that over the next 2 days our builders don't choose to send more ceiling crashing down on top of this one. Which looks quite pretty.

Last night I danced home from work with music blaring through my Skull Candy's and cooked a huge vat of curry. I made a thai curry paste, cooked shallots in chilli oil and then added vine ripened cherry tomatoes, pineapple, Quorn chicken, courgette, banana, ginger, coriander and coconut milk. And a massive handful of chilli flakes. Ohhhhhhhhh it was good.

Then I went to bed with a book, Rufus Wainwright crooning softly and smothered my face in Love Lettuce. Thanks Lush!

I got up again in time for Big Fat Gypsy Wedding which was as usual a mixture of me gawping at the outlandish outfits, the inapropriately dressed dancing children and me feeling sad that these people are such outcasts. The bride this week was unusual in that she waited until she was 22 to get married and had been working for 5 years. Once married she of course had to give up work in order to take care of her husband and their caravan and she waited until her last day at work (after 5 YEARS) to tell her boss that she was a gypsy. What must it be like to be so worried about what people will think of you, and so worried about prejudices that you can't even be proud of who you are and what your heritage is?

I cannot stop laughing at this video. It's a FACKIN TRAIN BRUV! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! Am I BOVVERED though? *dies*

After today I have 2 days left to work and then I have to take AN ENTIRE WEEK off work and go brave the wilderness of The Lake District with The Boy.
A WHOLE WEEK. I need to seek advice from a crack addict or something on going cold turkey from my job. Do you know, last night when I got home I took off my gloves and noticed that there was a phone number on my hand. "Hang about, where did that come from?" I wondered.
"Have I been picking up strange men in my lunch hour?"
It seemed unlikely given that I am head over heels in love with The Boy but I couldn't remember why I had a phone number on my hand. Then I couldn't remember what I'd done at lunch and started to convince myself that I had actually been drugged and taken SpeedDating or something.
Then I realised that the reason I couldn't remember my lunch hour is because I didn't take one - I was too busy to stop and had forgotten to bring some lunch with me. I had a handfull of lychees and carried on working right through. This is not unusual (except for the lychees... they're not always in season!)
And the phone number was my brother's - I wrote it on my hand so I could text it to The Boy.

Maybe I DO need a holiday. Or it's possible I've contracted Alzheimer's. Meeeep.

Hurry up Thursday! Hurry home Boy!

Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr

Title: The Laughing Gnome by David Bowie