Every time he goes away I go on this mad bender of projects from filling rubble sacks with CellarShit to go to the tip, to cooking vats full of soup and freezing it.
On top of crazy productive things I also fill all my newfound free NonBoyTime with UBERGIRLIE things like painting my fingernails or plucking my eyebrows, arranging girlie nights in and having long telephone conversations with my girlfriend Tom about his magical foof.
Tomorrow The Best Friend is coming over to cheer me up as only she can. Otherwise I would be forced to take a lover. A lover like this. The double chocolate fudge brownie cheesecake.
OK so I've already had 2 slices. Want some? You can pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Because let's face it, cake is reliable. Cake always makes you feel good (except when it contains soya and you're allergic to it). Cake is always there for you. Cake makes you happy.
I am glossing over the fact that prolongued use of the "cake as replacement for boyfriend" model will eventually lead me to grow a third buttock. Cake is not fattening LeeMee. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la laaaa la la la la la la la laaaa. Om nom nom munch.
In all seriousness (wait, I take that back!) I am going to end up being horribly fat at this rate - The Boy called me earlier to let me know that after his week in Slough, and his week in Devon, and our holiday with his family in the Lakes he is then leaving me AGAIN to go to China.
China. CHINA! Yes, that China. The far away kind. He gets sick every time he has nasty greasy Chinese takeout, he will actually die out there. Someone bring me some faaaackin Frennnnnch toast.
Ziggy played guitarrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrr.
Title: China Girl by David Bowie